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16 of 16 found the following review helpful:
 What Closure IS, why we need it and how to get it. Feb 21, 2010
By Inter8
This is a 'feel good' book. Not just because of any of the many real life story examples within it, but by showing us how to relate those examples to our own experiences and then giving us additional tools to practice, Lissa Coffey demonstrates how we can learn to actually appreciate whatever situation in our life has us 'stuck' with those unpleasant emotions that just won't leave, and how to make any changes we might want.
Lissa Coffey explains just what 'Closure' IS. We are told closure is not feeling grief. Closure takes us beyond grief to learning from change, even to look forward to it. In addition to recovering after loss or learning how to get 'over' and see the good in our old relationships, we are given tips for discovering new and better ones, as well as improving all the continuing relationships we have.
Most readers will find the term "Relationship" applies to a wider area than we had considered. This book is clearly written and shows how to relieve stresses and ill feelings in many more instances than we might expect, as well as opening up possibilities for new and wonderful relationships in the future.
7 of 7 found the following review helpful:
A stellar book to move through and beyond!! Mar 12, 2010
By Christine Louise Hohlbaum
"award-winning author, PR consultant, and actor"
Closure and the Law of Relationship by Lissa Coffey is one of those books you'll want to add to your standing library. Why? Because life means change, and this book offers best practices to navigate the waters of relationships that are ever-changing. With actionable items and affirmations at the end of each chapter, this is not just a book for those going through divorce. CLOSURE examines ways in which we can move through our emotions on any issue to get beyond them. We may have accepted that our parents have divorced, that our best friend has moved to the other side of the Earth or that our kids have left the house for good. But do we really have `closure', that delicious state of full-blown acceptance and honoring of transition for what it truly is: the ability to grow beyond our perceived limits?
From the beginning, Lissa Coffey assures us that our true self never changes, even if our circumstances do. In the eleven chapters, she calls for a mind shift from regret and wanting to acceptance and celebration. In Chapter Three, she addresses friendship. Having come to love her for her amazing talent for selecting just the right quote, I found this one to be particularly eye-opening. It is one of the reasons we have such a hard time letting go of friendships that we wished would last forever. "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."~ Anais Nin
In essence, however, Lissa claims we never really lose our relationships. That is perhaps the key argument of the book. They simply change form. If you believe in past lives, you will come to realize you are simply meeting souls you have known all along. If you have ever had a déjà vu moment with someone you've just met, you know what she means.
Another particularly helpful philosophy she presents is the notion of agreements. We meet people for a reason, based on an ancient agreement of which we might not even be aware. We come together, fulfill our purpose, and then move forward. She speaks of her miscarriages as an agreement her soul had with the baby's. What a tremendous way of thinking about tragedy and sorrow! The same thinking applies when one of your loved ones dies. Never flip, Lissa offers ways in which we can work through these feelings by allowing us to feel them completely. It is in the embrace of our negative emotions that our greatest fears are allayed.
We are reminded of our personal responsibility for finding closure. In Chapter Five "Changing Relationships" she writes: "Closure can't come from any other party. We can't look to `get' closure from another person. We can only find closure within ourselves." At the end of this key chapter, she lays out her five step process to gaining closure on any issue that has yet been resolved in our lives.
1. Recognition. It helps to identify what is truly going on within us.
2. Acceptance. We must realize what is. When we embrace it, it loses its power of us.
3. Understanding. We may not truly comprehend everything that has happened, but trust that everything happens for a reason.
4. Integration. As we embrace the change, we can integrate its newness into our lives.
5. Gratitude. We can increase our happiness levels up to 25% by merely expressing our thanks.
The next five chapters delve into each of the steps. The final chapter, "Coming Full Circle" offers ways to sustain our awareness of life's preciousness. This book is like a hug from your best friend. It will nurture your soul, life your spirits, and grant you the freedom to live the life you truly deserve. I highly recommend it!
Christine Louise Hohlbaum is the author of several books, including The Power of Slow: 101 Ways to Save Time in Our 24/7 World.
6 of 6 found the following review helpful:
A book to heal by Feb 20, 2010
By Kate Dols
"Happy Chef"
For anyone who has ever suffered a personal loss, and that means everyone, this book is a must read. As someone who has suffered many losses in my life, I only wish I had this book years ago.
Lissa Coffee understands the human connection and explains the relevance between loss and healing like a good friend.
4 of 4 found the following review helpful:
Well worth the read Mar 04, 2010
By Leslie S. Lewis
"Leslie Suzanne"
I have read several books on relationships.. This book spoke loudly, clear and simply put. There were a few defining "AHA" moments where I finally did "Get It"! I love when I "Get It"! There was a sense of relief when I was finished. I now, am able to see my relationships in a "relaxed new light" Another thing, The end of each chapter where you can jot notes.,.. great idea!.
Well thought out, well written, well done! Thank you..
6 of 7 found the following review helpful:
 Disappointing read Jun 12, 2010
By Diana S-D
"Mojave Light Images"
I have read many books on the topic of relationships, creating our own destinies, etc. This book is more about personal stories of the author and all the famous people she knows and their pain than really about moving through your own pain of ending relationships. When she does finally get to outlining some steps for healing, they feel taken from all the other sources I've read - merely a listing of things to do in haste at the end of the chapters. The title is misleading. I was disappointed as the advertisement and reality of the book didn't line up. Plus, being a teacher, I found many errors in writing conventions and spelling. The editing was poor as well.
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