Platitudes for a Life in Hell: A Book's Fill of Tales and Tidbits on Justice and Joy, the Goodness in People, and Other Lies to Tell the Weak

'Savor the little things in life: they're all you'll ever have.' 'Money may not buy you love, but at least it makes you better than everybody else.' 'The future's so bright, we are evidently in hell.' Let's waste no time on false modesty. This book will utterly transform your life - possibly even for the better. Yes, Platitudes for a Life in Hell offers you the golden key to self-actualization in your career, relationships, and criminal enterprises. By teaching you the art of selfish conceit - as well as a hearty distaste for one's fellow humans - the stories, aphorisms, comics, and life-coaching tips collected in these pages will enable you to become far more insufferably cynical than you may already be. After all, as everyone knows, a simple dose of pettiness is as good as money in the bank.