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4 of 4 found the following review helpful:
Time to Stretch Your Imagination Nov 04, 2009
By Shari Aizenman
"wrldlygrrl"
This book is the first of its type I have ever read. Talking to My Selves delves into the subconscious mind where your inner conversations make up the decisions about what is actually going on in your life. Debbie's style of writing gives the reader a chance to do exercises to allow for perspective and introspection and she puts her own life experiences intertwined with her own healing to make it all more real.
I enjoyed learning more about the characters who make up my daily inner voice discussions and as I did some of the exercises, found myself resolving a couple of issues I had been battling for a period of time.
3 of 3 found the following review helpful:
A brilliant, potentially life-changing book. Mar 09, 2010
By Juliet Blake
Debbie Unterman has written a book on subpersonality theory, or "parts therapy," as it is generically called, which is absolutely outstanding. My "parts" had been kicking my butt and had brought me to my knees and I knew I needed some kind of help but I had no clue where it would come from or what form it would take.
On the internet I started reading about Richard Swartz' parts therapy, "Internal Family Systems Therapy" (IFS) which is being touted as a cutting-edge therapy that clients respond extremely well to and which enables them to heal quickly. (Which got my attention, since many know conventional therapy can ensue for years and years with no real healing going on). I was just about to order a book on IFS when I remembered: "I have Debbie's book!" I'd bought it a a local booksigning but it got lost in my pile of books "to be read." I was not prepared for what an amazing book it is.
Debbie practices and is trained in Alchemical Hypnotherapy which is described by David Quigley, its founder, in the Foreward as "composed of many therapeutic protocols, including the Rescue and Re-Parenting of the Inner Child, Emotional Clearing Therapy, Past Life Regression and Somatic Healing--a specific technology for healing the physical body." Debbie describes it as "healing techniques from Carl Jung, Psychosynthesis, the ancient Alchemists, present and past life regression therapy and Shamanism." I was especially enamored of how reminiscent it is of Jung's work with the archetypes. Jungian psychology is all about individuation, or integrating our disparate parts (such as the shadow) into one cohesive, conscious whole. Ironically, I had been right in the middle of reading Jung's autobiography, "Memories, Dreams, Reflections," when I felt the need to stop and read Debbie's book. When I return to "the MDR" it will make it all the richer.
This all sounds very strenuous but Debbie is such a wonderful author, she makes the journey she takes you on fun. First she introduces you to the "External Characters," or key figures such as our primary childhood caretakers whose words we often find bouncing around in our heads (or coming out of our mouths). Next it's on to the Intellectual Characters, (ex: The Judge, The Skeptic, The Preacher) then the Emotional Characters (ex: The Rebel, The Hero, The Romantic). She discusses the Inner Child at length and how crucial it is to nurture, re-parent and take care of this vital subpersonality.
What really threw me for a loop were her two chapters on co-dependency. She rejects the 12-Step disease model of CODA (Codependents Anonymous) and instead cogently argues that it is really a dance carried out by the triangulation of three distinct subpersonalities. Unlike other more well-known authors on the subject, she actually shows you the steps on how to CURE it and untangle yourself from this self-defeating behavior. To echo the sentiments of one review she reprinted in her book, "The chapters on codependency alone are worth the price of the book." I thought I'd really overcome this tendency in myself until I took her quiz. Very enlightening.
She devotes one entire chapter to the subpersonality of The Martyr--(for good reason, if you've ever known one intimately.) Then she masterfully discusses what Jung coined the "shadow." Next are two chapters on hearing your Inner Guides above the din of "the conference room." It is among the best spiritual advice you'll read anywhere.
I have had sessions with Debbie and I can say without reservation that she is a person who really walks her talk. She is non-pathologizing, non-judging, empathetic and compassionate. In addition, she has a great depth of knowledge of childhood abuse and its legacies. The book ends with a brief personal sketch of her own journey and how through these techniques she was able to bring about her own transformation.
I have done much personal work myself for 30 years now, including 12-Step work long ago in ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) as well as working with 4 different therapists. I've read many books, taken classes, attended seminars back in the day, etc. Debbie unquestionably knows her stuff. She covers all the bases and leaves no stone unturned. Rest assured you are in very capable hands.
I read this book very carefully and did all the exercises at the end of each chapter. I had so many "a-ha!" moments that I was lit up like a Christmas Tree. I've been through so much trauma in my life that people would often hear me say, "I've lost so many parts of myself." One of the greatest gifts this book gave me was being able to identify what parts they were! Now, instead of a nebulous blur, I can give these lost parts of me tasks to bring them back to life and rescue them from the oblivion of remaining buried in my shadow.
When I finished the last chapter and closed the book, I spontaneously burst into tears. I can't recall any book in recent memory where I felt so seen, so found. There were so many things in the book that were EXACTLY what I needed when I needed it. It was almost like it was written just for me.
Since we are all multifacted beings, I suspect this book will resonate with many more people out there. This book deserves a very wide audience. I'd go so far as to say that if everyone read this book, it would be a constructive step toward world peace. I'd give it ten stars if I could. Highly Recommended!
1 of 1 found the following review helpful:
Debbie Unterman Gives Us All a Voice Apr 01, 2010
By N. Rushin
Debbie Unterman's, 'Talking to My Selves,' is a transcendent book. Do not feel inclined to read this book front to back, but instead start where you hear the loudest voice. Is it your inner child, your judge or your rebel? This book is a guide, not a week-end read. Keep it accessible on your spiritual journey. Debbie guides you through the maze of inner voices in an easy style reflecting Joseph Campbell and Caroline Myss. She offers her personal stories and quotes meant to heal and brings you finally to your authentic self. A must read for anyone trying to better understand themselves.
Talking to My Selves: Learning to Love the Voices in Your Head Feb 08, 2012
By Ann K. Fisher
Debbie Unterman puts it all into perspective: Who we are and how we became who we are, and then, how we can understand, improve and grow ourselves.
This book is intriguing, intelligent and above all, enlightening. There's humor in Unterman's literary style, some very good analogies and metaphors (you'll have numerous "ah-hah" moments reading this book)and there's great credibility in the way she presents and practices Alchemical Hypnotherapy. Personal anecdotes are told with humility and warmth, as well as the client stories which illustrate the "voices". Debbie is a gentle leader, taking you by the hand and onto an awareness journey, promising the best results, but not belaboring how to get there. The "exercises" are absolutely necessary, very workable, and will easily engage the reader. A most worthy read.
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