The Impact of Marital Infidelity on the Offended Spouse: How Christian Women and Men Cope

This book was written as a result of the many painful experiences, reported to me by clients, while counseling individuals following discovery of their spouse's extramarital affair. The intensity of their pain reminded me of the pain experienced by a parent anticipating the pending death of their child. Since little research has been done in this area I conducted a qualitative study of Christian women and men who agreed to share their stories. This book tells the stories of 17 men and women whose faith was very significant before, during and after the discovery of infidelity. Most in the study used positive religious coping, drawing on their faith as their strongest base of support. This study notes differences between men and women in respect to responsibilities for caring for children and post-infidelity adjustment. Women took a great deal longer to resume intimate relationships with men, than men took to begin new relationships with women. Sixteen of the 17 participants in the study terminated their marriages after discovering the infidelity. The impact of infidelity was life changing for all participants, who measured their life around what happened before and after the infidelity. This book will be useful to pastors, counselors, social workers, mental health therapists and marriage and family therapists who provide counseling to individuals struggling with the impact of infidelity. It is also evidence of hope for women and men traumatized by their spouse's infidelity; to know that it is possible to get through this very difficult time and to know that they are not suffering alone.