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39 of 41 found the following review helpful:
 Amaze your Christian friends! Feb 03, 2010
By D. Thomas
Thomas Quinn's "What Do You Do With a Chocolate Jesus?" might inspire a new candy bar sensation, but it won't be savored by evangelical Christians. An enlightening book for people who missed out on the dubious pleasures of Sunday School, it's also an enjoyable read for those of us who hated every minute of it. For non-Christians, it summarizes those gospel stories that you've heard about but never fully grasped - useful knowledge, especially if you want to know what's going on with the right-wing evangelical Christians who seem hellbent on bringing America back to its imaginary Christian beginnings.
Chocolate Jesus tells the story of Christianity in readable 21st century English. It's mainly about the New Testament, also known as the Jesus part of the Bible. But Thomas Quinn goes beyond chapter and verse and gives it context with a quick and dirty rundown on the Old Testament and the "mystery cults" that swept across the eastern Roman Empire in the 1st and 2nd centuries. There's not much detail, but he does let us in on some little-known and quite embarrassing similarities between those pagan cults and Christianity.
Quinn, clearly a rationalist, is no respecter of faith in supernatural powers. Where things usually get all hushed and solemn, Quinn cracks wise. Regarding Jesus' divinity, he says "He (Jesus) claimed the Almighty was his father and that he had been sent to deliver a gospel of hope about the coming Kingdom of Heaven. It might have been easier for God to just appear in the sky and say, `Here I am! Pretty impressive, eh? Now straighten up!' Like I said, he tends to do things the hard way."
Sometimes Quinn seems like a very well-read stand-up comic. And a very nervy one, at that. Even the edgiest comedians don't mess with sacrosanct matters of religious faith. But Quinn's book is no joke. In his humor there is truth, and while his version of the New Testament might not be preached from the pulpits of America's megachurches, his facts are supported by respectable bible scholars, most of whom are Christians.
Many of the devout don't realize that what Christian scholars know and what preachers preach can be very different things. For example, many Christians believe that gospels were written shortly after the Resurrection by Jesus' earthly companions. But the evidence tells bible scholars that the gospels were written by parties unknown, starting with "Mark" around 70 AD and ending up with "Luke" very late in the century. And there's no evidence of authorship: the titles were attached by church officials in the 3rd and 4th centuries. It's no wonder evangelical pastors charge that Christian bible scholars have fallen prey to Satan's wiles.
The great thing about Chocolate Jesus is that it's a blast to read. Many people who weren't "raised Christian" have no idea what all the fuss is about, so they go to Christian sources, where they find plenty of faith, piety and apologetics, but very little history. Some go to the source: the Bible. An old friend tried that approach. After an hour-long struggle, he gave up. "What's the meaning of this?," he cried. Without context and explanation, it's a hopeless proposition. But Quinn gives us hope, hope that you can learn the basics without paying tuition to a divinity school. Or being bored to tears. Chocolate Jesus is chock full of facts, presented in an orderly, coherent fashion. It might just be the most readable book on the subject that's ever been written.
Quinn is admittedly not very objective on the subject of religion in general, and he's especially ticked off with fundamentalists who take every word in the Bible as the gospel truth. If a disrespectful look at Christianity's early history and founding documents is more than you can handle, stick with the vanilla Jesus you know and love. As for the rest of us, "What Do You Do With a Chocolate Jesus?" has plenty to say and is plenty entertaining. Highly recommended.
23 of 25 found the following review helpful:
This book changed my life. May 01, 2010
By Lucille Ball
"Lucy Ricardo"
I think this book is for everyone. If you identify as a christian, it may prompt you to check your belief system for leaks. If you claim another religion, it'll clue you in to what that whole cross thing is about. And if you are a nonbeliever, it will confirm your suspicions and give you the ammunition you need to win arguments and bar bets.
'Chocolate Jesus' came along during a spiritual crisis for me. I wanted to believe in something, I needed to -- or so I thought. After reading about the bible and what is known about christian history in this book, I had a stunning realization: It's all make-believe. The story that built churches, gave popes power and inspired leagues of people to leave their common sense in the vestibule is a fairy tale. Never happened, or happened only allegorically.
WDYDWACJ demonstrates that for lack of introspection and unbiased examination, millions of people in America and around the world believe in a fiction that is filled with contradiction, inconsistency, false promises and imaginary places called heaven and hell. The Great Pumpkin seems highly plausible in comparison. (As for WHY people choose to act like sheep and follow along, I still don't get it.)
The author delights in chronicling the absurdities littering the "good book"; I had many laugh-out-loud moments. You'll be educated and amused at the same time. And this book couldn't be more current -- the hypocrisy of religion as examined here could be ripped from today's headlines. I no longer want to have faith in any god. I'd rather have my intelligence.
11 of 11 found the following review helpful:
 informative, funny and opinionated May 28, 2010
By Arael Ash
This book makes religion and history interesting for someone who doesn't really read much of this genre. I was fascinated by many things I didn't know about the Bible and Christian history: popes being married, similarities between the Jesus story and pagan myths, amusing end of the world panics, and many of the ideas the Bible teaches that we usually ignore. There are also many things I thought were in the Bible that actually are not. It made me laugh out loud sometimes, yet you have to roll with Tom Quinn's opinions and sense of humor. He's a 'doubting Thomas' and has an irreverent sense of humor. But I think most people will enjoy and like this.
11 of 12 found the following review helpful:
refreshingly Illuminating May 27, 2010
By Kevin A. Reese
"Inquisitive one"
Religion was always something I feared, and until my reading of this book, despised. i had attempted reading the Bible, but could never get very far into it. As i grew older, i began to resent religion in general, because we always fear what we do not understand. when i came into posession of this book, i realized upon reading the first few pages my life was about to be drastically altered. this is one of those books pastors DON'T want you to read, and for me, this book has become my new Bible :). it has empowered me to have debates with religious nuts all over Hollywood, but more importantly has raised my awareness of Christianity without proselytizing to me. in fact, i found the humorous tone incredibly relaxing, especially knowing there are those among the ranks of humanity that take the subjects being discussed very seriously. all in all, a must have for anyone who wants to learn more about religion, but cant really stomach Sunday School;p.
7 of 7 found the following review helpful:
bite his ears off Oct 12, 2010
By Vel
"vicious liberal"
What do you do with a chocolate Jesus? Why bite his ears off of course! This is a sardonic well-written examination of one of the most popular primitive superstitions in the world. The last few chapters on the lies that the Religious Right tells about how the US is a "Christian Nation" are worth the price of admission themselves.
The author does occasionally do a few boo-boos, like repeating the nonsense that crucifiction would "suffocate" you, but those are few and far between.
This is a great example of how to show the emperor wears no clothes and that the bible is no more than one more collection of myths that have nothing supporting them.
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