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7 of 13 found the following review helpful:
 An Indictment of the Guru-Devotee Relationship Nov 13, 2009
Mike Finch's very readable book is an excellent case study of why researchers like Kramer and Alstad, in their book "The Guru Papers," conclude that the guru-devotee relationship is inherently pathological. The story can be likened to a really bad love affair, leading to a really bad marriage, ultimately ending in divorce, but not until after Mike took a ton of abuse. What follows the divorce is Mike's attempt to make sense of why he stayed in this abusive marriage so long. The abuse and pain occurred because Mike's partner in this dysfunctional relationship was a megalomaniacal, manipulative, narcissistic liar who trampled on Mike's needs and feelings, all the while knowing full well how vulnerable Mike was to him. But, of course, the relationship wasn't one of real love between equal, consenting, partners, it was the fake love between a "lord" and a "devotee," and the backdrop of the relationship wasn't a marriage, it was a cult.
Former devotees of Maharaji or other cult leaders might find this book unsatisfying because Mike never outright judges the perpetrator, nor comments on later revelations about Maharaji's gluttonous excesses and sexual abuse of his devotees, but his abusive behavior towards Mike is impossible to miss, such as when Maharaji humiliates Mike in front of an audience for asking a question about sex, (after Maharaji had made a crude sexual joke about Mike and his girlfriend), when he consciously and rudely ignores Mike on a road in India, when he institutes a humiliating system in which devotees have to wait separately in their hotel rooms for hours hoping and praying for a phone call from Maharaji about whether they made the instructor grade, when Maharaji rejects Mike causing immense pain because Mike has the audacity to have human feelings and fall in love with a woman, when Maharaji toys with Mike about fulfilling his obvious desire for personal service, only to reject him, etc. Almost the entire story is one of Maharaji's intentionally abusive treatment of Mike with all the bringing close, then casting away, all for the purpose of bringing Mike back once again, and all the while knowing that he had complete control over Mike and also seeing Mike's desperation and pain.
Indeed, Mike appeared to be just one of the "perfect master's" toys and it seemed that Maharaji, like a cruel child, wanted to see how his toy yo-yo would behave; whether Mike would keep returning for more. At the time, of course, Mike tells us he was programmed to rationalize this treatment as lila, or lessons from the guru, and that Maharaji had his ultimate good at heart and "loved" him. Such is the nature of the dysfunctional relationship that the victim is programmed to see outrageous treatment as love and caring. That Mike was able to overcome the programming and break free, even if it took 30 years, is a triumph of the human spirit and an inspiration.
9 of 14 found the following review helpful:
A painfully honest memoir Nov 12, 2009
I say 'painfully' honest as it is difficult for any of us to truly examine the reasons for the foolish decisions we make in our lives. It is even more difficult to admit those decisions, and the reasons for making them, to others, let alone to the world. I therefore commend Dr. Finch for producing this memoir where he examines his decision to believe that Prem Rawat, a young boy at the time, was the Lord of the Universe, who had the power to reveal God to other human beings. Unfortunately, once such a belief has taken hold, the decision is not easily reversed, as that would mean turning one's back on one's creator. I recommend the book to anyone who is mystified about how otherwise intelligent people can become members of religious cults, particularly those who have seen family members or friends ensnared by obvious charlatans. As well as casting light on the reasons why people join cults, the book also offers hope that it is possible, even for long-time members, to break free.
3 of 3 found the following review helpful:
Highly Recommended Nov 10, 2009
Many of my fellow baby boomers went from the drug-addled 60s into the cultish 70s and this is what happened to the author of "Without the Guru: How I took my life back after thirty years." Sex and drugs and rock and roll led to existential angst and eventually to a search for capital "T" Truth and personal salvation. Fortunately for us, Dr. Finch survives his 30-year trip down the rabbit hole to tell us his compelling story.
According to Dr. Finch, the hallmark of any successful group-think system is that no matter what you experience you will find a way to make your experience support the belief system. And when any belief starts to control your personal experience you begin to wander off the main road. As Shakespeare said, "To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."
Why do we put others on a pedestal and surrender our lives to them? Why do people need to abase themselves to guru like figures? These questions are never fully answered. Instead the author exhorts us to face ourselves and the world and the universe we find ourselves in, without any intermediary or negotiator of any kind in between. According to Dr. Finch, to be a fully sane human being we need to stand on our own two feet and think for ourselves with honesty and kindness. This is IMO excellent advice. Perhaps he did get something positive from his experience after all.
Dr. Finch's story could easily be everyman's journey through any one of the hundreds of groups operating in the world today. Highly recommended!
7 of 13 found the following review helpful:
 the history of a spirituell journey with a happyend Nov 10, 2009
I liked to read it. And it is amazing how many parallels are to my own way of thinking in that time. We don't know eachother but we were many times at the same places round the world. The way it was, it was crazy and hysteric, but it was the atmosphere of that time round the " Lord of the Universe ". It is the history of a posthippiegroup, and my children and my grandchildren schould read it, so they can see how crazy we once were in the 70s and 80s. I'm really shocked because in retrospect it is all so obvious how naive we were, but it is a report of the mental frame a lot of Rawat followers were in and still are motivated. This book is not about sex and crime of a Guru's life, it is the honest report of someone who tried to live the life with devotion to a person who claimed to be the perfect master in our age in our century. I'm glad that someone had written this crazy story of believing in somekind of a prophet, but who had and has not the integrety to reflect what he had done to many people who fell so easily to the feet of the master. The author does not blame the Guru, the author simply shows that the one who he thougt cares for him did't cared at all. The story has a happyend, Mike has found his way out of that cult and has his power back to reflect his time with the Guru, who had come to the planet with more divine power than ever before.
gango
4 of 13 found the following review helpful:
 If you are going to criticise, you need to accept a little yourself Nov 08, 2009
This is my second attempt at a review, as my first one was removed, along with another one that dared point out a few things about the author.
If you are going to write a book that is largely a criticism of the subject, you need to be prepared for a few home truths .
I went through the same things the author did, I was in the Ashrams and at the event he mocks with the picture on the front cover of his book. That time was the happiest days of my life, and I was having an incredible experience.
Here is what really happened to the author.
For 30 years he was practicing what Maharaji had taught him, and was probably enjoying it, for most of that time, because, lets face it, who is going to do something for 30years if they don't enjoy it.
Doubt then sprang in Finch's mind and he went along to a hate group website that reinforced his own thinking.
Practicing what Maharaji teaches takes effort, he gave up.
For a better idea of what happened in those days, and what Maharaji is like now, read "Peace is possible by "Andrea Cagan, a real author, also available on Amazon
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